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a small wish for this morning November 29, 2010

Posted by altari in feelings, mi familia.
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I took a one-month leave from work to babysit my toddler. And now the leave is about to come to its end. It’s today, to be exact.

Now is 1:30 AM in the morning. In 6 hours, I will have to leave my baby girl in my relative’s house before going to the office. I’ve actually done it for months before this, but somehow this time I feel it’s gonna be damn hard.

Having spent time with my girl 24/7 at home… to me it was a blast and a generous bless from God.

May God make my heart stronger when I leave her later for work.

May God protect her from harm and danger.

May God make this easy for me and my daughter.


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passing half the year…. July 30, 2010

Posted by altari in the circle.
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SEVEN MONTHS WITHOUT A SINGLE POST TO MY BLOG??!

WHAT ON EARTH HAVE I BEEN BUSY WITH??

WASN’T THERE ANYTHING INTERESTING AT ALL IN MY LIFE TO WRITE???

wow… hold it Al, you make it sound like it all matters the most to the world *laughing at myself*

Yeah… been busy. Busy with work that most people are against of. The job appears to be surreal for them… But I can’t complain much, coz I can’t drive the way they use their mind, can I? Although these are the people who are supposed to be the closest ones…

Definitely a hard year for me.

But rest assured, I’m still grateful to God for the laughs God let me have.

🙂


you’re stepping on my heaven*, mother :) January 18, 2010

Posted by altari in mi familia, words.
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I could have just kissed your foot… but Mother,

…. I know it would just break your already broken heart to mere dust.

But feel this. Yes… it’s my hand, holding yours.

We’re in this together….

We are


(*) as a moslem, I’ve been taught to believe that heaven is within reach if you grandly honor your mother. Heaven being under a mother’s feet is a figure of speech to describe it.

the honour is mine… pffftt! January 1, 2010

Posted by altari in questions.
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“If you just love ruining lives other than yours…. among millions out there…. why choose mine??”

asked I.

despite the urge to PUNCH. March 25, 2009

Posted by altari in words.
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One day, when it’s like any other day…

you may bump into someone who just has to ruin your day. Your happiness is definitely not on his/her list, nor is his/her concern. What he/she does to you, may instantly make him/her on top of your hit list. Hit, as in ‘punch’, ‘blow’ or ‘strike’, definitely not ‘murder’ please.

What he/she says to you, may inevitably make the gravitation of the Moon show an evident effect on your blood, making it jolting up to your head and boiling. You imagine how it would feel relieving to fold his/her body into two, like folding a sheet of paper, if only you could. But then again, all you can do is keeping the grudge underneath. Oh how you’d like to do the same to the person in return, but it’ll just make you become indifference with him/her, won’t it?

He/She leaves… but your day stays there. Your rage is still trapped underneath, yet, your day has to go on. So outraged, you tremble.

  1. So, quick! Grab any of your favorite non-alcoholic drink, e.g. hot chocolate, iced orange, hot chamomile tea, et cetera. Drink it slowly. Savor every flavor. Don’t picture anything in your head. It’s between you, and the drink. It’s personal.
  2. Listen to your all-time favorite song. If you happen to be in your room, the good news is you can sing along and dance to it! Oopss… don’t forget to close the door. Someone watching you with jaw dropping (or worse, holding giggles) may be the last thing you wanna see.
  3. You keep your baby’s pictures in your mobile phone or computer? Go, go, go! Open the folders and start looking at them all over again, from the very first minute of your baby’s arrival.
  4. Bear this in mind: there’s always someone else in the world who has a worse day than you. It can be your neighbor, or it can be Angelina Jolie. Don’t get it wrong, this doesn’t mean you should feel glad about it. You just simply need to know that you’re not alone.
  5. Try to find a person who seems to need your help. Give advices, offer to carry your friend’s stuffs… you’ll find out that no matter how small the help you give, in a way it always gives us a good feeling. Sometimes one good feeling is enough to overcome the bad one.
  6. For my moslem fellows, I’m sure dzikr is the answer for the terrible moment.


10 things that may ruin your kids March 4, 2009

Posted by altari in home, mi familia.
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  1. Give everything your kids ask for
  2. Laugh when they make mistakes
  3. Dare not say ‘No’ to them
  4. Do everything on your own without giving your kids the opportunity to learn responsibility
  5. Teach your kids to defy the neighbor, the teacher or other grown-ups
  6. Make all the decisions regarding your kids without giving them the chance to decide on their own
  7. Always spoil your kids without giving them the chance to face the consequence when they make mistake
  8. Being overprotective about your kids, causing them unable to do healthy and normal activities
  9. Let your kids be when they are being rude
  10. Criticize your kids in front of the public

Me, analyzing….

….Concluding.

The message is basically the same: know when to stop spoiling them. Sometimes I find that this can be more applicable to grandparents who just had their first grandchild. The way they spoil the toddler… well, well, well… I’m like running out of comments on that particular issue.

It’s as if the sun sets forever when they bid goodbye to the chubby cheeks. It’s as if they’re suddenly billionaires when the toddler smiles. The truth is, they’re unconsciously heading into bankruptcy since every penny they’ve got will be undoubtedly spent for toys, which will be played by the tot for 5 minutes and then tossed to the side…  for good, definitely with putting on an innocent face. Tragic…

Oh FYI, of course I’m talking about my parents here 🙄

But anyway, I can’t deny that I feel like envisioning heaven whenever I see them laugh together. Yep, talk about happiness being defined. So let’s pray those 10 things won’t happen in my house. Between changing diapers, running around to chase her, and Lipstick Jungle… I don’t think I have the energy left to scream at her.

Sadina & Oma, hm... going 80's?

Sadina & Opa, who gives away smoking for her. Way to go, Opa!


Sadina & Yang Ti, who always has a way to neutralize all the spoiling going.


Sadina & Yang Kung, who recently dedicated a book to her, eer... it's about building a road. Knowledge is power, yeeaah!

P.S.: The truth is… I myself is still searching for a way to stop myself kissing all over her face ALL the time 😳

iNeed… February 19, 2009

Posted by altari in humor, questions.
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questioning

a Dobberman, better be a huge and fierce one,

a hacker friend,

a lawyer friend,

a miracle.


P.S. Warning: This is seriously a joke which is jokingly serious.

B.F.F. February 18, 2009

Posted by altari in the circle, words.
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My fact number one: I’m not young anymore.

My fact number two: (No intention to brag…) One of my talents since I was a kid is easily make friends with people I newly meet.

My fact number three: I’m not sure what the relation between fact number one and two is, but I insist on keeping fact number one above (hee hee…)

My fact number four: I have lotsa of them, everywhere across our beautiful globe.

My fact number five: I’m not good at keeping in touch, but they’re not leaving me yet (or it could be my wishful thinking, hihihih…)

My fact number six: I don’t make best friends easily.

Yeah, kinda sad. And sometimes I can feel awful too. There were times when I found out that some people just put me on their speed-dial lists, while they’re not on mine. They usually press their cell phones on my salary day. Naah… just kidding (while looking cautiously at some dudes.)

Okay, here goes fact number seven: My best friends are less than ten people.

So, what does it take to become someone’s best friend?

Do you even remember the very first meeting with your long-time best friend?

How did you feel about him/her at that time?

Actually, some of my best friends were the people I hated at first. They might have given me the worst impressions ever. But people do change (surprisingly, when you least expect them to.) They changed, I changed, and suddenly we all meet at the same level of comfort without even remembering how we used to be so different before.

Now let me remember how my best friends and I got to that level…

Ah yes, compromising. Must be that. Compromise is a point where a person puts his/her being selfish aside for certain conditions. He/she doesn’t have to accept the condition, just not against it. No, the previous sentence is not a definition. It’s simply a conclusion I learn by not-always-but-at-least-giving-it-a-try doing it.

I find that compromising involves respect and appreciation. So, if it feels good when someone pays you a respect and appreciates you, why don’t you do the same to others?

Anyways, the title ‘best friend’ is not a bonus. To me, it’s an achievement through loyalty, trustworthy and sincerity.

So, don’t listen to your friend’s personal story just because you’re curious, but because you do care. And if you say “I’ll always be there for you”, sometimes it doesn’t have to mean you’re physically there or always provide time for your best friends. Just make them feel that they’re not alone, especially when they’re pouring their personal stories to you. Don’t respond a sad story with “Oh, that kind of thing never happens to me!” otherwise they’ll thank you for making them feel lonelier. Sometimes a little “uh-huh” or a small nod works.

However, if your sad friend demands you to listen to him/her all the time, while you’ve actually got something else not less important to do, yet he/she just doesn’t wanna understand that, then perhaps he/she is not the one.


if there were words, ever…. January 12, 2009

Posted by altari in the circle.
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dawnWe’ll all die, eventually.

Heard that. Known that.

Until death touches someone dear, in fact perhaps dearest to your heart… that’s when everything matters more. That’s when no such thing as perfect words can be said in such reality.

To a dear friend of my heart,

Yes, I know there is nothing I can say to put back together your shattered feelings. Nothing I feel can equate the broken heart. Nothing I give can compete what you accepted before.

But here I am, a soul and a prayer, for you. For him.

In memoriam of Oom Budi Setiawan (January 4, 2009.)