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“advice, anyone?” follow up February 20, 2009

Posted by altari in words.
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Some of you may remember that I once had a situation with someone.

Regarding my situation, well… I’m not sure whether it can now be categorized as better or not. What happens these days is, I only talk to this ‘person’ whenever necessary. Meaning, she (yup, it’s a she) talks to me first, and then I reply, and… that’s it, pretty much.

Sometimes I blame the old me for having a high expectation on her. I mean, in the past I wanted her to be kind to me and treated me the way she treated others. But the thing with ‘high expectation’ on people is… most of them just let you down in the end. Yes, I’m very much aware that nobody’s perfect (ugh, I actually don’t fancy clichés but they always embody a condition precisely. To me, clichés can be annoying yet effective at the same time.) Still, not that I expected a perfection in her treatment to me, just please be nice.

Anyhow, now my burden is very much lifted compared to the last time. I thank and appreciate friends who spare their time to share their views through this blog and e-mail.

This person and I don’t communicate much with each other anymore, which is a good thing, because that way I can keep my mind clear from negative thoughts about and the irritated feelings from her. I see her more like a mere passerby, so I don’t feel obliged anymore to care that much about her, which is again a good thing.

You know what guys, somehow I read a signal from her that she actually was aware about my change of attitude towards her recently. I found that sometimes she tried to have a longer conversation with me and she made the attempt obvious. But then again, I remained the passive side. And I don’t see what’s wrong with that as long as I stay polite. I still need more time to be normal with her.

So, even though at the beginning of this post I sounded uncertain about my situation being better or not, now I’m finally able to conclude that yes, in relation to my feelings, it’s much better =)



iNeed… February 19, 2009

Posted by altari in humor, questions.
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a Dobberman, better be a huge and fierce one,

a hacker friend,

a lawyer friend,

a miracle.

P.S. Warning: This is seriously a joke which is jokingly serious.

B.F.F. February 18, 2009

Posted by altari in the circle, words.
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My fact number one: I’m not young anymore.

My fact number two: (No intention to brag…) One of my talents since I was a kid is easily make friends with people I newly meet.

My fact number three: I’m not sure what the relation between fact number one and two is, but I insist on keeping fact number one above (hee hee…)

My fact number four: I have lotsa of them, everywhere across our beautiful globe.

My fact number five: I’m not good at keeping in touch, but they’re not leaving me yet (or it could be my wishful thinking, hihihih…)

My fact number six: I don’t make best friends easily.

Yeah, kinda sad. And sometimes I can feel awful too. There were times when I found out that some people just put me on their speed-dial lists, while they’re not on mine. They usually press their cell phones on my salary day. Naah… just kidding (while looking cautiously at some dudes.)

Okay, here goes fact number seven: My best friends are less than ten people.

So, what does it take to become someone’s best friend?

Do you even remember the very first meeting with your long-time best friend?

How did you feel about him/her at that time?

Actually, some of my best friends were the people I hated at first. They might have given me the worst impressions ever. But people do change (surprisingly, when you least expect them to.) They changed, I changed, and suddenly we all meet at the same level of comfort without even remembering how we used to be so different before.

Now let me remember how my best friends and I got to that level…

Ah yes, compromising. Must be that. Compromise is a point where a person puts his/her being selfish aside for certain conditions. He/she doesn’t have to accept the condition, just not against it. No, the previous sentence is not a definition. It’s simply a conclusion I learn by not-always-but-at-least-giving-it-a-try doing it.

I find that compromising involves respect and appreciation. So, if it feels good when someone pays you a respect and appreciates you, why don’t you do the same to others?

Anyways, the title ‘best friend’ is not a bonus. To me, it’s an achievement through loyalty, trustworthy and sincerity.

So, don’t listen to your friend’s personal story just because you’re curious, but because you do care. And if you say “I’ll always be there for you”, sometimes it doesn’t have to mean you’re physically there or always provide time for your best friends. Just make them feel that they’re not alone, especially when they’re pouring their personal stories to you. Don’t respond a sad story with “Oh, that kind of thing never happens to me!” otherwise they’ll thank you for making them feel lonelier. Sometimes a little “uh-huh” or a small nod works.

However, if your sad friend demands you to listen to him/her all the time, while you’ve actually got something else not less important to do, yet he/she just doesn’t wanna understand that, then perhaps he/she is not the one.