You know… June 6, 2009
Posted by altari in words.Tags: personal, thoughts
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I’m sorry if I have a dignity.
I’m sorry if I want my share of happiness too.
I’m sorry if I don’t want to sacrifice myself anymore.
I’m sorry if I feel right.
I’m sorry if I object being hurt.
I’m sorry if I want to hear just that one word ‘sorry.’
I’m sorry if I scare you.
despite the urge to PUNCH. March 25, 2009
Posted by altari in words.Tags: life, thoughts
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One day, when it’s like any other day…
you may bump into someone who just has to ruin your day. Your happiness is definitely not on his/her list, nor is his/her concern. What he/she does to you, may instantly make him/her on top of your hit list. Hit, as in ‘punch’, ‘blow’ or ’strike’, definitely not ‘murder’ please.
What he/she says to you, may inevitably make the gravitation of the Moon show an evident effect on your blood, making it jolting up to your head and boiling. You imagine how it would feel relieving to fold his/her body into two, like folding a sheet of paper, if only you could. But then again, all you can do is keeping the grudge underneath. Oh how you’d like to do the same to the person in return, but it’ll just make you become indifference with him/her, won’t it?
He/She leaves… but your day stays there. Your rage is still trapped underneath, yet, your day has to go on. So outraged, you tremble.
- So, quick! Grab any of your favorite non-alcoholic drink, e.g. hot chocolate, iced orange, hot chamomile tea, et cetera. Drink it slowly. Savor every flavor. Don’t picture anything in your head. It’s between you, and the drink. It’s personal.
- Listen to your all-time favorite song. If you happen to be in your room, the good news is you can sing along and dance to it! Oopss… don’t forget to close the door. Someone watching you with jaw dropping (or worse, holding giggles) may be the last thing you wanna see.
- You keep your baby’s pictures in your mobile phone or computer? Go, go, go! Open the folders and start looking at them all over again, from the very first minute of your baby’s arrival.
- Bear this in mind: there’s always someone else in the world who has a worse day than you. It can be your neighbor, or it can be Angelina Jolie. Don’t get it wrong, this doesn’t mean you should feel glad about it. You just simply need to know that you’re not alone.
- Try to find a person who seems to need your help. Give advices, offer to carry your friend’s stuffs… you’ll find out that no matter how small the help you give, in a way it always gives us a good feeling. Sometimes one good feeling is enough to overcome the bad one.
- For my moslem fellows, I’m sure dzikr is the answer for the terrible moment.
10 things that may ruin your kids March 4, 2009
Posted by altari in home, mi familia.Tags: family, life
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- Give everything your kids ask for
- Laugh when they make mistakes
- Dare not say ‘No’ to them
- Do everything on your own without giving your kids the opportunity to learn responsibility
- Teach your kids to defy the neighbor, the teacher or other grown-ups
- Make all the decisions regarding your kids without giving them the chance to decide on their own
- Always spoil your kids without giving them the chance to face the consequence when they make mistake
- Being overprotective about your kids, causing them unable to do healthy and normal activities
- Let your kids be when they are being rude
- Criticize your kids in front of the public
Me, analyzing….
….Concluding.
The message is basically the same: know when to stop spoiling them. Sometimes I find that this can be more applicable to grandparents who just had their first grandchild. The way they spoil the toddler… well, well, well… I’m like running out of comments on that particular issue.
It’s as if the sun sets forever when they bid goodbye to the chubby cheeks. It’s as if they’re suddenly billionaires when the toddler smiles. The truth is, they’re unconsciously heading into bankruptcy since every penny they’ve got will be undoubtedly spent for toys, which will be played by the tot for 5 minutes and then tossed to the side… for good, definitely with putting on an innocent face. Tragic…
Oh FYI, of course I’m talking about my parents here 
But anyway, I can’t deny that I feel like envisioning heaven whenever I see them laugh together. Yep, talk about happiness being defined. So let’s pray those 10 things won’t happen in my house. Between changing diapers, running around to chase her, and Lipstick Jungle… I don’t think I have the energy left to scream at her.
Sadina & Oma, hm... going 80's?
Sadina & Opa, who gives away smoking for her. Way to go, Opa!
Sadina & Yang Ti, who always has a way to neutralize all the spoiling going.
Sadina & Yang Kung, who recently dedicated a book to her, eer... it's about building a road. Knowledge is power, yeeaah!
P.S.: The truth is… I myself is still searching for a way to stop myself kissing all over her face ALL the time 
“advice, anyone?” follow up February 20, 2009
Posted by altari in words.Tags: personal
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Some of you may remember that I once had a situation with someone.
Regarding my situation, well… I’m not sure whether it can now be categorized as better or not. What happens these days is, I only talk to this ‘person’ whenever necessary. Meaning, she (yup, it’s a she) talks to me first, and then I reply, and… that’s it, pretty much.
Sometimes I blame the old me for having a high expectation on her. I mean, in the past I wanted her to be kind to me and treated me the way she treated others. But the thing with ‘high expectation’ on people is… most of them just let you down in the end. Yes, I’m very much aware that nobody’s perfect (ugh, I actually don’t fancy clichés but they always embody a condition precisely. To me, clichés can be annoying yet effective at the same time.) Still, not that I expected a perfection in her treatment to me, just please be nice.
Anyhow, now my burden is very much lifted compared to the last time. I thank and appreciate friends who spare their time to share their views through this blog and e-mail.
This person and I don’t communicate much with each other anymore, which is a good thing, because that way I can keep my mind clear from negative thoughts about and the irritated feelings from her. I see her more like a mere passerby, so I don’t feel obliged anymore to care that much about her, which is again a good thing.
You know what guys, somehow I read a signal from her that she actually was aware about my change of attitude towards her recently. I found that sometimes she tried to have a longer conversation with me and she made the attempt obvious. But then again, I remained the passive side. And I don’t see what’s wrong with that as long as I stay polite. I still need more time to be normal with her.
So, even though at the beginning of this post I sounded uncertain about my situation being better or not, now I’m finally able to conclude that yes, in relation to my feelings, it’s much better =)
iNeed… February 19, 2009
Posted by altari in humor, questions.Tags: life, personal
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a Dobberman, better be a huge and fierce one,
a hacker friend,
a lawyer friend,
a miracle.
P.S. Warning: This is seriously a joke which is jokingly serious.
B.F.F. February 18, 2009
Posted by altari in the circle, words.Tags: friends, life
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My fact number one: I’m not young anymore.
My fact number two: (No intention to brag…) One of my talents since I was a kid is easily make friends with people I newly meet.
My fact number three: I’m not sure what the relation between fact number one and two is, but I insist on keeping fact number one above (hee hee…)
My fact number four: I have lotsa of them, everywhere across our beautiful globe.
My fact number five: I’m not good at keeping in touch, but they’re not leaving me yet (or it could be my wishful thinking, hihihih…)
My fact number six: I don’t make best friends easily.
Yeah, kinda sad. And sometimes I can feel awful too. There were times when I found out that some people just put me on their speed-dial lists, while they’re not on mine. They usually press their cell phones on my salary day. Naah… just kidding (while looking cautiously at some dudes.)
Okay, here goes fact number seven: My best friends are less than ten people.
So, what does it take to become someone’s best friend?
Do you even remember the very first meeting with your long-time best friend?
How did you feel about him/her at that time?
Actually, some of my best friends were the people I hated at first. They might have given me the worst impressions ever. But people do change (surprisingly, when you least expect them to.) They changed, I changed, and suddenly we all meet at the same level of comfort without even remembering how we used to be so different before.
Now let me remember how my best friends and I got to that level…
Ah yes, compromising. Must be that. Compromise is a point where a person puts his/her being selfish aside for certain conditions. He/she doesn’t have to accept the condition, just not against it. No, the previous sentence is not a definition. It’s simply a conclusion I learn by not-always-but-at-least-giving-it-a-try doing it.
I find that compromising involves respect and appreciation. So, if it feels good when someone pays you a respect and appreciates you, why don’t you do the same to others?
Anyways, the title ‘best friend’ is not a bonus. To me, it’s an achievement through loyalty, trustworthy and sincerity.
So, don’t listen to your friend’s personal story just because you’re curious, but because you do care. And if you say “I’ll always be there for you”, sometimes it doesn’t have to mean you’re physically there or always provide time for your best friends. Just make them feel that they’re not alone, especially when they’re pouring their personal stories to you. Don’t respond a sad story with “Oh, that kind of thing never happens to me!” otherwise they’ll thank you for making them feel lonelier. Sometimes a little “uh-huh” or a small nod works.
However, if your sad friend demands you to listen to him/her all the time, while you’ve actually got something else not less important to do, yet he/she just doesn’t wanna understand that, then perhaps he/she is not the one.
stolen January 30, 2009
Posted by altari in sing or swim.Tags: music
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Dashboard Confessional (Album: Dusk and Summer.)
We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced
Another sun soaked season fades away
You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart
Invitation only grant farewells
Crash the best one of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed
Too early to say goodnight
You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart
And from the ball room floor, we are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all will sleep well
Sleep Well
Sleep Well
Sleep Well
Sleep Well
You have stolen
You have stolen
You have stolen my heart
I watch you spin around in your highest heels
You are the best one of the best ones
We
All
Look
Like
We
Feel
You have stolen my
You have stolen my
You have stolen my heart
if there were words, ever…. January 12, 2009
Posted by altari in the circle.Tags: life, personal
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We’ll all die, eventually.
Heard that. Known that.
Until death touches someone dear, in fact perhaps dearest to your heart… that’s when everything matters more. That’s when no such thing as perfect words can be said in such reality.
To a dear friend of my heart,
Yes, I know there is nothing I can say to put back together your shattered feelings. Nothing I feel can equate the broken heart. Nothing I give can compete what you accepted before.
But here I am, a soul and a prayer, for you. For him.
In memoriam of Oom Budi Setiawan (January 4, 2009.)
the ‘E’ virus got me at last! January 4, 2009
Posted by altari in likes.Tags: humor, Movies, twilight
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Every time I went into a book store, any book store for the last few months, my eyes always caught Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight and New Moon books. But never did my hands reach for them. My heart simply weren’t moved either. The same thing went whenever I flip through my newspaper pages and accidentally saw the Twilight cinema schedule there. There was just no desire to see it whatsoever.
Not until I saw Paramore’s Decode video clip on MTV and realized that something was different with this movie soundtrack. Of course, it’s all because Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen was there, with his deep see-through golden eyes, flickering in front of me (…jaw completely dropped.)
So…
January 2, 2009
I went to the book store nearby and grabbed those two books. I meant to grab Eclipse as well but hubby reminded me that I’d better grab just the first two series in case I didn’t like the story. Well, I kinda doubted that considering that if Twilight wasn’t that good, the movie wouldn’t stay that long in cinemas and no second or third book. Right?
My mistake was… reading them while imagining exactly Robert Pattinson as Edward. Wow…! A huge mistake, I’m telling you, um, girls (I suppose…?) Coz what happened was, I read it non-stop from 11 pm to 4 am, and then continued with New Moon around the same hour on the next night, ended up craving for more!
January 3, 2009
In the morning with Edward waltzing between my brain synapses, I texted Ika, one of my bestest friends, who also collects Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight saga. She’s known for her extreme criteria in selecting crushes, i.e. superlatively handsome, stunning and gorgeous (yep, all physical, at least the last time I checked 
) In relation with Edward Cullen, I so have a huge expectation that she’ll understand my ‘fever’ the most.
Me: bla bla bla Edward bla bla bla Edward bla bla bla Edward bla bla bla….
Ika: OMG, Al! What… how… 
Me: I knoooww (feeling helpless)
Ika: You sound like you’ve just been bitten by a vampire.
Me: Hm, good guess. Oh, Edward… Edward Cullen… will you be my son in law?
No more replies from Ika.
January 4, 2009 morning
I screamed to hubby,”Ika just texted me, she actually has the Twilight book, but the cover is the movie picture!”
Hubby was chasing my tot around and I could catch him rolling his eyes.
“And it’s got pictures bonus in it! I hate her! Iii haaate heerr! I’ve gotta have one too!!” I said, panicky. Don’t worry, I didn’t pull out my hair and roll on the floor. Maybe later, when the spunk ransom really shows up in front of my door (…fingers crossed!)
“What are you, high school student?” Hubby grumbled. “It would be much cooler though if Mandra was the title cover.”
What he said almost made me believe that he has officially signed up the Edward-Cullen-hater-hubbies club. Because below is Edward (or Robert, or Edward, or… hm, dizzy)
And apart from his wonderful works in Indonesian movies and TV dramas, this… is… Mandra…
PS: Hubby and I were actually planning to see Twilight the movie this afternoon, until a sad news broke…
a love letter January 3, 2009
Posted by altari in humor, likes.Tags: Movies, twilight
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